ever the elusive vixen...

wherever my people came from, they must have either been invaded a lot or done a lot of invading.  whichever one it was it translates to little sleep.  the sleep i do have is troubled, with dreams of things i'd prefer not to dream about.  i'm careful not to qualify these dreams. no dreams are good or bad; they just are.  some dreams are long gone by the time i wake up.  some linger with me long into the day.  these aren't things that i really share with anyone.  the positive thing that comes out of these angst-ridden dreams is that i make a deep contrast between what i dream and what i do.  my waking hours are spent being good to people, treating everyone the way i would like to be treated, laughing, writing music and playing music and making it count.  some days it's hard to do when you're being haunted by awful stories your brain cooks up for you when you are trying to rest.  and it's difficult to share sleep with someone when you are constantly fighting in dream world.  it turns something that should be intimate and special into something that can drive you apart.  i hate that.  i used to not fully appreciate what people call 'the sleep of the innocent'.  now i do.  i've written some sonnets about sleep, which is ever the fragile and elusive vixen.

sonnet #3
she is my muse, she'll sing me to sleep
through the darkest of nights or the brightest of days
kings of the sky or the queens of the deep;
they all pay her courtly praise
when she is sad or her humors are ill
her skies grow dreary and grey
and her garden wilts while her forest lays still
while my sleep goes rotten from decay
oh put me at ease my beautiful muse
i long for the pitch of your siren
to make your world right i would slave all the night
and restore your graces undying
to be next to you would be my only console
because closeness, like slumber, is good for the soul

(i always hear these things in triple meter.  also my iambic feet aren't uniform.  those studied in english literature would be shaking their heads...)

all i really want is for pleasant dreams.  like eating a large amount of cake.  yes...that's what i want....